This is a profound question for the believer.  How can I know if I am Father’s friend?  Do I have to hear his voice from a cloud declaring such?  Are my shortcomings an impediment to friendship with Abba?  Is it even possible to be regarded as his friend, and not just his son or daughter?

These are just some of the questions that can swirl through our minds as we contemplate the question posed in the title.

Let me settle the swirl straight away!  What matters is Abba’s opinion, not our own perceptions.  He calls you his friend, because Jesus has done so.  When did Jesus call you his friend?  The moment you desired to entwine your heart with his!  Jesus announced to his disciples that 

Anyone who loves me will obey my teaching.  My Father will love them, and we will come to them and make our home with them.   [John 14:23]

The desire of Jesus and the Father is to “take up residence” with those who love them, with the obvious implication of entwinement of their hearts with the believer.  This is one of the hallmarks of close friendship.  

A friend of Jesus is a friend of the Father, because Jesus is the exact representation of the Father. [See Hebrews 1:3] He explicitly said to Philip: 

Anyone who has seen me has seen the Father.   [John 14:9]

It will not change reality if you claim to be unqualified to be Father’s friend.  Your desire for entwinement of your heart with his (e.g., your love for him!) is sufficient, and it trumps all your imperfections that you might list for disqualification. 

So, let your heart be settled from any swirling in your mind.  Receive your status as a friend of the Father, because his desire is stronger than your shortcomings.

Keeping this in mind, you can gain encouragement as you consider some of the fruit of this glorious, loving, friendship with Abba and that will serve to help you deepen your friendship with him because love begets more love!

–Steve Trullinger, July 2022

As we journey together into a bit of “uncertainty” in the future, there is for many of us a temptation to fret about what is going to become of not only our nation, but also our individual, family, and community welfare.  There are significant “pressures” to deal with in the political, economic, and physical arenas that can cause concern, or worry, or anxiety, or even outright panic.  How can we “hang on” to our peace in the midst of these pressures?

The answer lies, as you know well, in our focus.  The encouragements in Scripture are many, and they are powerful and effective.  But it is one thing to acknowledge where the answer can be found, and another thing to discover how to implement those (perhaps freshly remembered) truths and strategies laid before us through the divine inspiration from the Holy Spirit.  How do we “bridge the gap” from knowledge of the promise of peace (even perfect peace) from God to actually experience that peace that we long for deep inside our innermost being, whether we realize that longing or not?

There are different levels of understanding of how to build such a “bridge” into the “settled-ness” of peace, but let’s keep it simple as we venture forward.  What are some of the promises we have from God in His Word?  Here are a few:

“Perfect, absolute peace surrounds those whose imaginations are consumed with you; they confidently trust in you.”            [Isaiah 26:3 (TPT)]

“I leave the gift of peace with you—my peace.  Not the kind of fragile peace given by the world, but my perfect peace.  Don’t yield to fear or be troubled in your hearts—instead, be courageous!”       [John 14:27]

“6Don’t be pulled in different directions or worried about a thing.  Be saturated in prayer throughout each day, offering your faith-filled requests before God with overflowing gratitude.  Tell him every detail of your life, 7then God’s wonderful peace that transcends human understanding, will make the answers known to you through Jesus Christ. 8So keep your thoughts continually fixed on all that is authentic and real, honorable and admirable, beautiful and respectful, pure and holy, merciful and kind.  And fasten your thoughts on every glorious work of God, praising him always.  9Follow the example of all that we have imparted to you and the God of peace will be with you in all things.”              [Phil 4:6-9 (TPT)]

There are many more verses along these same lines, but let’s focus on the common theme: confidence in the ability of God our Father to keep us in perfect peace when we completely and utterly focus our thoughts (or imaginations) on Him!  Another way to phrase this theme is that our trust in God helps us decide to believe that He will keep us in perfect peace, and this framing of our imaginations that are focused on His nature as a perfect Father is the key to building confidence.   

There is an exquisite “weaving” of these inter-related threads of faith, trust, belief, and confidence.  All of these are strengthened and matured in the most beneficial place in the universe to “hang out,” your place in the Father’s heart!  More simply stated, your relationship with Abba as his child is the source and sustenance of your utter trust in Him.  This in turn fosters the ability for you to “trade in” your inability for His ability.  Once you have chosen to believe in His ability to keep you in perfect peace and stop relying on your own understanding, then you have not only built the bridge to “settled-ness” I mentioned above, but you have crossed it!

Now you can live in a place where your confidence is extreme, like what Jesus demonstrated when he walked the earth with his disciples.  

Jesus walked the earth with extreme confidence,

And so can YOU!

This is the thesis of a powerful online course that I have made available in our resource hub called “Father’s Workshop.”   This 8-session course is called “The Belief Advantage” and comes with study guides for each of the sessions.  If you registered for this course in the past, you still have access to repeat all or some of it at any time.  If you have not yet availed yourself of this empowering “road-map” to Jesus-level confidence, please do so at your earliest convenience.  If you are a “Father’s Friend” (Financial Supporter, Core Team Intercessor, Volunteer) please take advantage of your Father’s Friend discount at “check-out” during the registration process.  Contact us for a Father’s Friends discount (coupon) code.  Email us at friends@fatherstouch.org.

Get focused on your loving Abba, gain the confidence that you need to trust him completely, and you will experience (and remain in!) his perfect peace!  You will have the kind of boldness that shrinks to nothing the temptations to worry or fret.   It’s your (re-)birthright as the “apple of his eye.”   

P.S.  You may also enjoy my mp3 message entitled “A Cake of Peace!” which is available for download at https://fatherstouch.org/product/a-cake-of-peace/.  This is a timeless message containing a “recipe” for peace that combines ingredients such as knowing that God wants you to have peace, believing that you can have it, and trusting God to answer prayer. God’s Word contains an old-testament example of the “peace that surpasses all understanding” promised by Paul in Phil 4:7; you may be surprised by the lesson it contains!

It is no secret that there is “power in numbers,” meaning that the effectiveness of cooperation seems to “multiply” as teams work together in greater “harmony” or singleness of purpose, as compared to simply “adding” the results of several individuals working independently.  This synergy has hints in familiar biblical passages such as this lament in the Song of Moses concerning the power of the enemy army against Israel:

“How could one man chase a thousand, or two put ten thousand to flight, unless their Rock had sold them, unless the LORD had given them up?” [Dt. 32:30 (NIV)]

King Solomon offered this wisdom regarding cooperation:

“Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” [Eccl. 4:12 (NIV)]

Perhaps less well recognized, however, is the profound example of the power of synergy displayed by the men on the plain of Shinar, after Noah’s sons had begun to re-populate the earth.  Wickedness had again reached a critical point, in God’s view:

⁵But the LORD came down to see the city and the tower that the men were building. ⁶The LORD said, ‘If as one people speaking the same language, they have begun to do this, then nothing they plan to do will be impossible for them. ⁷Come, let us go down and confuse their language so they will not understand each other.’”

[Gen 11:5-7 (NIV)] (emphasis added)

This observation by God shows us that this synergistic power was far greater than we might have guessed just by their tower-building enterprise.

Hidden in this display of “alarm” by God and his subsequent prophylactic intervention to scatter the wicked men of Shinar, is a fantastic encouragement!  Here it is:

If the pagan men Shinar were capable, through the synergy of cooperation, to do anything they planned, how much more could the sons of God be capable of through the unifying language and power of the Holy Spirit?

There is a supernatural power of synergy available to the sons of God, so much so that when they step into their destiny together as agents of societal transformation there will be a profound restoration of the majesty of God’s creation.  [Rom 8:19]

All creation is eagerly waiting …..

“I give you all the glory, Lord.”

or

“To God be all the glory.”

If you are like me, you’ve said these, or similar, “adorations” countless times, without really thinking about what you were saying.  I recently realized I was parroting what I had often heard in prayer meetings, celebration gatherings, testimonials, etc.  I had made the popular dive right into a tradition of man, and I have now had to repent.

The reason?  Because even though the desire to give God all the glory seems like a good thing, believing (and rightly so!) that he deserves it all, actually giving him all the glory flies in the face of a huge desire of Christ himself!  It hurts Jesus, because he gave us glory for a purpose, a supreme goal for all believers that, when realized, will help usher in the glorious union of Christ with his bride (the sons of God).

Let me explain, starting with a very powerful passage of Scripture, an excerpt of Jesus’ prayer to the Father for his disciples the night before he was crucified:

“²⁰My prayer is not for them alone [the disciples present with Jesus].  I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, ²¹that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you.  May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me.  ²²I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one – ²³I in them and you in me – so that they may be brought to complete unity.  Then the world will know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me.”   [John 17:20-23 (NIV)]

This passionate prayer of Jesus, for all his disciples (including those today!), is one of the most explicit declarations of the will of God for complete unity among the members of his family of sons and daughters.

There is much that can be said about perfect unity – what it is and isn’t.  But for now, let’s focus on verse 22 in the above passage.  Jesus states that he has given us (the disciples) the glory that the Father had given him.  Why?  So that we may be one as he and the Father are one, i.e., that we may be brought to complete unity.  This means that the glory Jesus gave us has agency, or effect, in bringing about complete (perfect!) unity among the disciples.   In other words, it has power to bring about change in us as a body of believers, to reduce division, strife, envy, jealousy, selfish ambition, quarreling, anger, resentment, bitterness, and anything else that causes or accompanies disunity among us.

This statement by Jesus is loaded with potential for us if we choose to embrace it.  By receiving (and keeping!) the glory that does its work in uniting us, we can be the beneficiaries of an amazing miracle of God, namely the transformation into an “organism” (the body of believers) devoted to “others-focus” rather than the all-too-prevalent self-focus that continues to tarnish Christians even now, two thousand years after Christ prayed for our perfect unity.

I plan to eventually write a detailed encouragement regarding the transition of the sons of God to a state of perfect unity, but a brief introduction to the basic principles and ideas can be found in a message I delivered¹ several years ago entitled, “The Love Transition!”

Now, here is the rub, so to speak:   if we declare that we are giving all glory to God, then we are, in effect, refusing to allow the glory he gave us to do its work of unification!  This glory is a precious gift from Jesus to us, and to give it back before it has finished its work is surely a disappointment to our Savior and Lord, and that would be expressing the effect of the misguided gift-return rather lightly.

Indeed, we need to stop parroting “give-it-back” phrases that emanate from traditions of men and instead learn to appreciate the heart-motive of Jesus (and Abba²) to see us all blessed (beyond our ability to comprehend) by the unity that was intended² from the beginning for the family of Adam.  Please, I beg you,

Keep the glory, for Christ’s sake!

¹Delivered in 2009 at HRock Church in Pasadena, CA, and currently downloadable from the following link:   CLICK HERE

²More insights into how and what Abba thinks (and feels!) about you can be found in Steve’s book (in both paperback [USA orders only] and audio-download formats) entitled, “Windows to the Father’s Heart,” available at www.fatherstouch.org/store  and in limited supply at www.amazon.com for international orders.

If you are a father, or you know a father, or you are thinking about becoming a father, chances are you just answered the title question with a loud, “You bet they do!!”  The good news is that

Help is on the way!

The Problem

Fatherlessness is a huge issue – that’s an understatement!  And it seems to pervade every culture on every continent.   Way too many fathers are absent from their families, physically or emotionally, or both, and the results are devastating for not only the families, but society as a whole.  This is obvious – I don’t need to quote lots of statistics or list all the readily apparent classes of problems resulting from family abandonment by fathers.

There are more subtle, insidious, issues as well.  For example, many men are even reluctant to start families because they are afraid of failing, to the point where several young women have asked me, “Where are the men who are willing to commit to raising a family?”

There are many different factors which contribute in varying measures to the temptation of fathers to “bail” on their families, or to not start one in the first place.  Rather than listing even a few examples, I want to instead summarize three of the resulting main hallmarks of a father who has abandoned his family or is teetering on the brink of doing so.  He has typically lost (1) hope, (2) confidence, and (3) purpose.

“Traditional” Rescue

 Discipleship programs of “rescue” or “abandonment prevention” employed or recommended by many leaders within the Body of Christ often can be distilled to two lists for the embattled father:  things to do and things to not do.  Although the specific items on such “lists” are usually based on sound biblical principles and wisdom, a father in a very weak state to begin with often “fails” to perform according to these lists, even though he may have made a serious effort.

Such perceived “failures” are often exacerbated by “whispers” of the devil (sometimes through “friends” or misguided loved ones) who is all too eager to either amplify feelings of failure, or accuse the church, or God himself, of ineptitude in the rescue process.  This subtle “kicking the man when he is down” can often lead to even worse “self-medicating” behavior involving alcohol, drugs, womanizing, or all of the above, and in turn leads to more isolation from his family.  In short, “failure to perform” leaves the man in an even worse state, and a vicious cycle continues to fortify his defeat.

Let’s face it – fathers and would-be fathers need effective Help, with a capital H!

Divine Help

Fortunately, Help is available:

“Therefore let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.”       [Hebrews 4:16 (NASB)]

Although discipleship is important and can be of immense value in helping a father to be strengthened in his “inner man,” I want to propose a more foundational approach, one that is based not on “performance” but on receiving divine revelation of three basic truths regarding how Abba (Father God) views fatherhood.  Once these revelations have “sunk in,” so to speak, the father has tremendous advantage and can more effectively embrace the discipleship program(s) recommended by his spiritual leader(s).

The revelation of these truths is birthed deep in the heart of Abba who wants fathers to be encouraged in a way that goes far beyond what we can imagine or implement with our own approaches based on “behavior modification.”   Let me describe these three simple, yet profound, revelations very briefly here and point you to my recent book entitled, “Windows to the Father’s Heart,” for more insights.¹ All three are essential, and of course there may be several other related revelations that can serve to strengthen the effect of these three:

• Abba has purposed immeasurable joy and blessing for fathers.
• Abba desires to strongly support fathers.
• Abba has designed incredible legacies for families.

Abba desires to restore the three things we mentioned above that are desperately needed by fathers who are “on the ropes,” so to speak:  hope, confidence, and purpose.  As these three are restored to a man’s soul through the corresponding revelations of Abba’s heart we just listed, then fatherhood becomes an attractive, irresistible, and expected focus of his destiny.

Restoration of Hope

The very “invention” of fatherhood has its root in Abba’s joy of “parenthood” when he created Adam and Eve (see Genesis 1:27) and then looked on all that he had created and saw that it was “very good (or pleasing)” (Genesis 1:31).  [Six previous times in the account of the stages of creation in Genesis, Chapter 1, the writer pauses to declare that God saw that what he just made was good (pleasing), but with the advent of Adam and Eve, the “goodness” level of everything else went up to “very good.”]  The Father’s incredible joy in his “parent role” for Adam and Eve was (and is) beyond our ability to measure, but we are certain that this joy was (and is) a good thing.

Because Abba withholds no good thing from him whose walk is blameless (Psalm 84:11) and Adam and Eve were (created) blameless before they sinned, we can be sure that he was compelled by love to share this “good” parental joy with Adam and Eve.  Thus, he purposed from the outset to have Adam’s family be tremendously blessed by the joy and blessings of parenthood.   This is one plausible reason why Abba did not make us all at once, along with Adam and Eve, but instead designed the multiplication of Adam’s family to be accomplished through reproduction and joyful parenthood.

The sin(s) of Adam and Eve that tarnished their “blameless” walks with God and diminished the joy of parenthood have now been overcome by the blood of the Lamb!  Those who have been born again through faith in Jesus Christ have been made blameless by the second Adam and are now inheritors of the full joy and complete blessings of parenthood as Abba intended from the beginning.  This is a source of great hope for fathers, and we can summarize the result this way:

The revelation of Abba’s intent to bestow immeasurable parental joy and blessing to fathers restores their hope!

Recovery of Confidence

There is an incredible expectation, and even eagerness, in Abba’s heart as he looks forward to the joy of strongly supporting fathers, not only in their day-to-day activities but also in the progressive realization of their destinies that he has designed for them.  This desire is expressed by the Father in a powerful declaration:

“For the eyes of the Lord run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to give strong support to those whose heart is blameless toward him.”  [2 Chronicles 16:9a (ESV]

Again, because Abba withholds no good thing from him whose walk is blameless (Psalm 84:11) and those who are born again have blameless hearts because of the shed blood of Christ, he will provide his strong support to fathers as they grow in maturity, power, and effectiveness.  In other words, his eyes have stopped searching; he has found someone to strongly support:  you!

Strong support from Abba is unimaginably good!  Even weak support from him is entirely sufficient to accomplish any miracle.  When a man receives the revelation of Abba’s eagerness to strongly support him in his role as a father, then it becomes much easier to trust in the exchange of their own inability for God’s ability.  This exchange is accompanied by the recovery (or perhaps, initiation) of a wonderful companion of hope, namely confidence that they will be a huge blessing (with Abba’s strong support) to their children, and indeed, to their entire progeny.  We can summarize this way:

The revelation of Abba’s eagerness and ability to strongly support fathers helps them recover confidence!

Discovery of Purpose

There is such incredible power in having, and knowing, magnificent purpose that the devil surely trembles when a son of God discovers the tailor-made, purposeful, destiny that Abba has delightfully designed for him, and not only him but for his entire progeny as well.  God has imbedded an intense desire, even though it may be elusively sub-conscious, deep in the soul of every man to somehow make a difference, and specifically, to leave a family legacy that endures after his productive life on earth comes to an end.

This desire can be traced to a profound, divine, perspective that regards the family of Adam as a “unit,” or “organism,” that Abba regards as “one.”  In other words, when our Father looked upon Adam he “saw” all of us, and still “sees” us all as “belonging” to a family that is not just loosely connected via reproduction, but rather has myriad members who have mutual influence that is beyond our understanding at present and may well require eternity to fathom.   So, the deep desire in the soul of a man for the well-being and destiny of his progeny is linked to this perspective of Abba and, indeed, serves as evidence that we are made in his image.

To be sure, there is wonderful satisfaction in the heart of a man when he accomplishes even a short-term goal (e.g., conquering a “mountain”), but there is a far deeper desire, even a God-given compulsion, to initiate, or enhance, and then provide for his sons to carry on and amplify, the family legacy.  A familiar example is the divinely-directed purpose that occupied King David in his later years regarding the building of a magnificent temple for God.  Even though David was not allowed by God to build the temple during his reign, there was an explicit declaration from heaven that his son Solomon would do so [1 Kings 5:5], and David prepared the way for his son to carry out this family purpose.

Not only was Solomon’s temple an example of inter-generational divine purpose for David’s family, but Abba announced that, as long as David’s descendants obeyed God’s commands, there would never cease to be a descendant upon David’s throne [Psalm 132:11-12].   This is a royal legacy that may seem to be limited to only David’s family, and there were indeed many generations of an “empty” family throne because of disobedience of his descendants.  However, Jesus does later recover the throne of his ancestor David, and because of spiritual unity with Christ, every believer is destined to sit with Christ in co-rulership as an adopted son of God [Ephesians 1:6].

There is great hope in this spiritual legacy for a father’s descendants who trust in Christ, and it is indeed eternal.  But there is also a perhaps more “tangible” legacy on earth for each family that provides a sense of purpose that will be manifested even in those generations far into the future that the father will not see this side of heaven.  When a father receives revelation of the legacy that Abba has purposed (and exquisitely designed) for his succeeding generations, then this purpose will stir powerful focus and action on the part of the father to see to it that his descendants are taught and equipped to add to the family legacy.  We can summarize this way:

The revelation of Abba’s design for a father’s family legacy throughout succeeding generations helps him discover purpose that transcends his own years!

Restoration of Fatherhood

These very brief insights into the power of revelation of Abba’s heart toward fathers can help to encourage fathers, and those who support them, in a quite a number of (related) ways as they endeavor to win the spiritual battle against fatherlessness.  But the primary focus of this short article is to help shift the emphasis from performance of fatherly “duties” to receiving revelation of fatherly joy and blessing as purposed in the heart of Abba.

To be sure, the attention to, and performance of, responsibilities of fatherhood are not to be neglected or relegated to the “afterthought” realm, but rather can be now be viewed in the light of these simple, yet deep, revelations as fruits of the relational roots that can be found in the very tender and loving heart of the Father of fatherhood.

My prayer is that fathers, and the men who are contemplating the start of a family, will be encouraged to resist the devil’s lies and accusations that he uses in his attempt to destroy fatherhood.  Instead, may men, and the women who support them, declare loudly the following truth:

“My Daddy can do anything!”

Help is on the way!  Indeed, our partnership with Abba to restore hope, recover confidence, and discover purpose ensures victory in the noble, and essential, restoration of fatherhood.

Children are waiting…

¹More insights into how and what Abba thinks (and feels!) about you can be found in Steve’s recent book (in both paperback and audio formats) entitled, “Windows to the Father’s Heart,” available in the USA at www.fatherstouch.org/store, and for paperback shipping internationally at www.amazon.com.